Look, we all know that friend. The one who’s been “between opportunities” for so long that even their couch has an opinion on their life choices. The one who updates their LinkedIn once every presidential election. The one whose resume still lists “Proficient in Windows 95.”
We love them, but let’s be honest—they need professional help. And not just “talking to a career coach” help. We’re talking full-blown, resume CPR, emergency-level intervention.
Red Flags That Your Friend’s Resume is in Distress
☠️ It still includes “References available upon request.” (We know, Todd. We know.)
☠️ They’re still using their college email address. (If you’re 40 and your email is still bigdawg420@hotmail.com, we have a problem.)
☠️ The skills section looks like a BuzzFeed quiz. (“Can list all U.S. Presidents in order” is not technically a marketable skill, Kevin.)
☠️ It’s longer than the Old Testament. (Nobody is reading your five-page memoir, Susan. Keep it under two pages unless you’re the CEO of Google.)
☠️ The “Objective” section says something like, “Looking for a job that pays me.” (I mean… sure. But maybe try harder.)
Tag a Friend Who Needs a Career Makeover!
Listen, we can’t let our friends continue to send out tragic resumes like these. It’s 2025—applicant tracking systems are rejecting resumes faster than people swipe left on dating apps. If their resume isn’t polished, ATS will ghost them harder than their ex.
So, do your unemployed homie a solid—tag them in this post and stage an intervention. Let’s get their career back on track before they start listing “Professional Napper” on their LinkedIn profile.
And if they need an ACTUAL professional to work magic on that disaster of a document… well, that’s where we come in. We fix resumes. We change lives. We prevent hiring managers from bursting into laughter.
Tag your friend. Do it for their future. Do it for their sanity. Do it for their mom, who keeps calling you asking why their child is still unemployed. 😂